Total Drama: The Musical
by acl97.gioia
Summary: After some years of absence, Total Drama is finally making its comeback! Join host Chris McLean and Chef Hatchet in the funniest, cruelest and most dramatic season of everyone's favorite reality show! Because, what's not to love (and fear) about good ol' musical theater? This is... Total! Drama! The Musical! First episode is now UP!


*THIS EPISODE OF TOTAL DRAMA CONTAINS SCENES OF EXTREME STUNTS PERFORMED BY ANIMATED TEENS. DO NOT TRY ANY OF WHAT YOU SEE HERE AT HOME. SERIOUSLY, YOU COULD GET REALLY MESSED UP*

* * *

A male young adult smiles as the camera goes on, then waves at the audience back home.

"Season seven, my friends. You never lost hope, and we're ready to show you how things get real."

He walks around the outside of a theater, and finally stops in front of its main entrance.

"Fifteen teenagers, officially labeled as contestants from now on, will compete against each other, and maybe even themselves, to win not only fame and huge stardom opportunities… there´s a big fat one million dollars prize at stake! Each episode, one by one, they'll all say goodbye, until a sole lucky-enough survivor remains!"

He goes inside the theater and the lights are turned on as he gets closer to the stage.

"This season we're all about musical plays. Wicked, Hamilton, Cabaret… challenges will also be musical-themed, and I'm hyped to say World Tour's so-loved special chime is back! Whenever I ring it, the contestants are required to break into song, according to the play inspiring our challenge."

His tour ends right in the middle of the stage, where a whitish light shines through him.

"That said, I guess we're ready to kick in. Ladies and gentlemen, my name is Chris McLean, and I'm the host of this new, exciting adventure. Welcome to the first episode of…"

"TOTAL!"

"DRAMA!"

"THE MUSICAL!"

* * *

After the theme song concludes, we see a blue tourist bus arriving at the theater. Many of the already-mentioned fifteen new competitors come down from there, with their faces overflowing curiosity, astonishment and even some fear. The first one to speak is a guy wearing a black t-shirt and navy blue jeans, notoriously more excited than the rest.

"What a wonderful place!" he says.

"It always looks like that at first, Griff."

The reply comes from a girl wearing a light gray blouse, red bandanna, dark grey vest and black skinny jeans. She stares at the building like everyone else does.

"Oh, Aoife, don't be so negative."

"Back at home, we call it being realist. Chris McLean is sure known for his… dark, tendencies."

"You mean, as in putting others' lives in danger?" a slightly chubby guy asks. He's wearing a midnight blue long-sleeved shirt with purple polka dots on it, and brown pants.

"Yes, Dale. That's exactly what I mean."

Behind them we see a small girl, wearing a fuzzy blue shirt and black leggins, trying to carry her luggage. A blond guy in grey t-shirt and blue denim shorts comes to her.

"May I help?"

She's reluctant at first, but her hands suddenly drop the suitcase. Most of her clothes are now on the street, which causes some mockery from the vast majority of the contestants.

"P-p-please."

"I'm Alex, by the way. And don't feel bad. We all have our moments."

"T-t-t, I mean, thanks. I'm Nami."

As he holds the suitcase to her, a tall lean guy wearing a red and white varsity jacket, white t-shirt and grey jeans comes between them, making it fall once again. He takes a deep breath and smiles confidently, while placing both hands on his waist.

"Do you get that smell?"

"The smell of arrogance?" Alex asks, obviously annoyed.

"No, silly. The smell of victory, that only I could exude."

"Those are some pretty complicated words, for such hollow mind. You do have reasons to feel proud about yourself, Darren."

Darren rolls his eyes and walks away from Piper, the girl who made the comment. Alex and Nami both smirk at her. She's wearing a maroon and black camouflage bomber jacket over a white gray t-shirt, a black leather biker cap with a silver chain and dark green cargo Capri pants.

"My friend, relax. You look… a bit infuriated."

Piper stares at the laid-back guy in a white tank top and tan cargo shorts, with her arms folded.

"Sorry. I just despise jerks, Seth."

"Don't we all? But you shall never lower yourself to your enemy's level. Even if you do not approve of what others do… live, and let live."

At the opposite end of the bus, two young people fight to be the first to take their things out of the trunk. Judging only by the similarity of their faces, it can be deduced they're in fact twins.

"C'mon, Megan, let go!" the guy yells. He's wearing a black t-shirt and grey sweatpants; a more demure style than that of his apparent sister, consisting of short jeans and a crop top.

"Hear me out, idiot. You got what you wanted. Maybe they chose you out of pity or something, like the Make-A-Wish Foundation does, but you won't stay long to ruin this for me. Okay, Matt?" she answers surreptitiously, so no one but him would listen. He simply turns his back to her.

"I'll beat you, you'll see." Matthew whispers to himself. He attempts to walk like a cool kid, but is suddenly creeped out by a girl who just came out of nowhere, wearing a black t-shirt with purple and black sleeves, indigo tights and a electric blue lacey skirt with black swirls around it.

She gives him a "leave me alone" glare, and goes back inside the bus. Another girl comes instead, this one wearing a yellow sweater over a white tank top and purple skinny jeans.

"Don't mind her, she's quite difficult to talk with, but extremely nice! Also, I'm Callie!"

"Hey, well, that's…" Matthew is about to reply, but Callie cuts him.

"I'm excited to be here, and make some new friends! Aren't you? Let's be friends!"

Matthew smiles awkwardly to her, right when the final guy in the bus (besides goth girl) walks out. He proudly wears a tan fedora, a peach and gray sports tank top and orange cargo shorts.

"Now, the party don't start 'till Arnold walks in!" he claims, throwing both arms at the air. Everyone stays silent until he stops acting like that. "God, I chill harder than you party."

"Damn, you're the perfect uke!" Callie yells to him.

"What?"

She facepalms.

"I promised myself to not talk about it, ugh!"

Far away from them all, a girl is seen working her arms, paying attention to movement details for grace and posture. Her clothing consists of a red cardigan over a white blouse and jeans. She found the others' chatter to be uninteresting. As goth girl passes by, she accidentally steps into a puddle of mud, and a little falls at the ballerina's pink shoes.

"Excuse me, would you be more careful?! These are my specially made shoes!"

"Coraline versus Bianca, for real? That sure brings lots of memories back."

Everyone turns around to find the host-with-the-most, Chris McLean, grinning. He even gets to appear in the picture Nami took seconds before with her camera.

"Man, you're like a ghost!" Dale yells at him.

"I've been that for, what, three years? But now I'm back, and so is this show. Well, I'm happy you already got used to each other, 'cause from now on, we won't stop for cheap introductions no one really gives a damn about. All people want, is to see the new victims suffer!"

"WHAT?!"

"Surprise." Aoife says, carelessly.

"Victims, contestants, people we LOVE. Those are all synonyms. Anyway, to get this started, I'm gonna split you all on three teams of five." Chris announces, but then notices only fourteen teenagers in front of him. "Wait… we're lacking one person. Where's Kimberly?"

A skinny, pale girl wearing a white blouse, a purple miniskirt, knee-high white socks and a purple bow on her hair touches his shoulder, downright scaring him.

"Oh my god, that was so uncalled for, Kim! Just, stand there with the bunch!"

She nervously joins her fellow competitors.

"We've got some silent treatment, huh?" Darren tells Arnold. The latter just chuckles.

Megan pushes Kim and others around her, placing herself close to Chris. She moves her hair seductively and softly goes through her chest with her own hands.

"I think we all can agree, I'm the best option for a team leader. What do you think, guys?"

Six of the seven guys applaud her determination. Matthew is heavily disgusted, like the other girls.

"My dear illegal temptation, I'm sorry, but the teams were selected in pre-production. Here in my hand, I have the list with your names on it. Whenever you're called, reunite with your team."

Expectful silence.

"Team one! Arnold, Bianca, Callie, Kim and Pierre!"

Alex's eyes get wide. "Did you just call me Pierre?"

"As I told Chef Hatchet, Alexander or its variants sound generic. Here, you'll be known as Pierre!"

"Chef Hatchet is back too? Hooray! I once read a manga, which featured Chris and him and it was so…" Callie excitedly tells Bianca, but then stops herself. "Forget it, forget I said anything."

"Team two! Dale, Griff, Matthew, Nami and Piper!"

The five mentioned contestants gather just as the previous ones did.

"And, last and probably least, is team three! Aoife, Coraline, Darren, Megan and Seth!"

Darren can''t help himself and gives his teammates a disatisfied glare. Coraline somehow agrees.

"You can pick names later. Now we have to hurry, and I still have to show you the theater. Here you'll eat, sleep, make friends and hopefully some enemies too, compete in challenges and what matters the most: be eliminated!"

"Will we have confessionals?" Griff asks.

"Oops, forgot about that. Yeah, the Confession Cab is right there."

* * *

 **CONFESSIONAL, AOIFE**

This place isn't as bad as I thought. But seriously, when will the music begin? Too much talk and no action.

* * *

 **CONFESSIONAL, BIANCA**

Hi.

* * *

 **CONFESSIONAL, PIERRE**

What's wrong with Alexander? I mean, there's a guy called Dale. Ain't that "generic"?

* * *

 **CONFESSIONAL, CORALINE**

I sense little to no real competition around. I'll come in first even asleep!

* * *

 **CONFESSIONAL, DALE**

I'm happy, you know? These people are amazing!

* * *

After a long time touring around the theater and discovering most of its features, they walk into a tall, muscular man who wears a toque blanche and white apron. Acknowledged as Chef Hatchet by many of them, he approaches the group to randomly select a captain, that will receive one of the three envelopes on his hands. Piper and Griff unsuccessfully try to hide their interest to lead team two, same as Darren, Coraline and Megan from team three; no one from team one.

* * *

 **CONFESSIONAL, CALLIE**

Don't get me wrong, I like being helpful, but I'd rather be a follower. Leadership is a double-edged sword.

* * *

"Team two, Piper. Team three, Coraline... Team one, Kim!" Chris announces, after Chef Hatchet silently makes his pick. "Go and get an envelope! I hope this pleases those feminists complaining about zero all-female finales."

Kim folds her arms, and does as told along the other two girls. All take a paper out of theirs.

"The Status-Seekers." Piper reads. "Really."

"The Wannabes." Coraline also reads. "Excuse me?"

"The Fame-Mongers." Kim reads to herself. "What the hell is a monger?"

"Those will be your team names for the rest of the season, until we hit merge, of course! I bet you're all wondering... am I strong, smart or talented enough to make it that far? Only time will tell!" Chris yells.

* * *

 **CONFESSIONAL, DARREN**

No doubt about it! I have the strength, courage, and even the brains to get rid of these losers!

* * *

"Now, with this teams thing finally settled for good, we're close to begin our first challenge ever! Excited?"

"It was about time." Aoife says.

Chris directs them towards the stage while explaining.

"This season, every challenge will be inspired upon a renowned musical play. Today, for example, we'll be doing nothing else but the modern Romeo and Juliet's story itself... West Side Story!"

Less than half of the cast cheer, as most don't know what the play is about.

"Said musical explores the rivalry between the Jets and the Sharks, two teenage street gangs of different ethnic backgrounds. A former member of the Jets and best friend of the gang's leader, falls in love with the Sharks' leader's sister, Maria. It's classical, dark and sophisticated, yet deals with lots of social problems."

"I so want to play Maria." Coraline says.

"And I can be your Tony." Griff adds, smiling at her.

"Yet you look like an Officer Krupke."

The host starts laughing maliciously.

"Oh, my dear losers. You're got going to perform at all... well, besides whenever the CHIME RINGS ON!

* * *

 _ ***SPECIAL CHIME***_

* * *

"What is that supposed to mean?" Matthew asks.

"It's the thingy from season three, that forced others to sing!" Callie replies.

"And not singing along means DISQUALIFICATION!" Chris yells to them. "Our budget finally gives us the chance to use songs from other sources, not only public domain or lousy parodies! So... get **America** going!"

* * *

 _(_ Music starts to sound out of nowhere)

 _Aoife: Puerto Rico, you lovely island… island of tropical breezes. Always the pineapples growing, always the coffee blossoms blowing…_

 _Griff: Puerto Rico, you ugly island… island of tropic diseases. Always the hurricanes blowing, always the population growing…_

 _Coraline: And the money owing…_

 _Callie: And the babies crying…_

 _Arnold: And the bullets flying!_

 _Dale: I like the island Manhattan, you know I do! Smoke on your pipe and put that in!_

(Those who already sang are lead by Coraline on a flashy dance according to the song's rhythm. Pierre, Piper and many others stay silent, obviously uncomfortable)

 _All: I like to be in America! OK by me in America! Everything free in America!_

 _Megan: For a small fee in America!_

(She and Coraline are now face-to-face, while everyone else forms a circle around them)

 _Coraline: I like the city of San Juan!_

 _Megan: I know a boat you can get on!_

(Everyone laughs, Aoife and surprisingly Bianca take the spotlight next)

 _Aoife: Hundreds of flowers in full bloom!_

(There are some seconds of silence, as they all glare expectful to hear Bianca sing)

 _Bianca: …Hundreds of people in each room!_

(Overall clapping. Chris comes in and twists the lyrics a bit, to directly get the others singing)

 _Chris: If you don't sing in America, you'll have to leave in America, don't get some money in America, BE A TOTAL FAIL in America!_

"I guess we do have to sing." Piper says.

 _Piper: I'll drive a Buick through San Juan…_

 _All: If there's a road you can drive on!_

 _Seth: I'll give my cousins a free ride!_

 _All: How you get all of them inside?_

 _Dale: Inmigrant goes to America, many hellos in America…_

 _Griff: Nobody knows in America, Puerto Rico's in America!_

"Matthew, Nami, Kim, Pierre and Darren, you better kill this next part!" Chris yells at those he mentioned. They all glare at each other, having no idea of what to do.

"Okay, whatevs." Matthew says.

 _Matthew: I'll bring a TV to San Juan!_

 _Megan: If there a current to turn on!_

 _Nami: I'll give them new mashing wachine…_ I mean, washing, wachine, machine!

 _Arnold: What have they got there to keep clean?_

 _Darren: I like the shores of America, comfort is yours in America, knobs on the doors in America…_

 _All: Wall-to-wall floors in America!_

"Pierre, Kim, SING!"

 _Pierre:_ FUCK! _When will I go back to San Juan?!_

 _All: When you will shut up and get gone?_

"Kim, go big or go HOME!"

 _All: Everyone there will give big cheer!_

(Kim sighs. She walks to the middle of the circle and opens her arms wide)

 _Kim: EVERYONE THERE WILL HAVE MOVED HERE!_

* * *

 **CONFESSIONAL, KIM**

I didn't want to sing, okay? But there's no way I'm getting kicked out and back home. No way.

* * *

"Pretty good, to be honest. At least you do have some minimal talent, unlike the World Tour folks." Chris says. "Now, time for the challenge. As an homage to past seasons, we'll be doing classic challenges with musical-inspired twists. Today, we decided to bring the good ol' balloon war from Pahkitew Island's third episode!"

"Phew. At least is not cliff-diving or something like that." Matthew says.

"You can't get any lower Matt, if you know what I mean." Megan replies, causing others to make fun of him.

* * *

 **CONFESSIONAL, MATTHEW**

Barely an hour here and she's already ruining my life. Whoever in hell invented sisters... dude, c'mon.

* * *

"Instead of balloons, you'll be using actual weapons gangs carry with them in their fights, like guns or knives. But don't worry, these are just props. Thank you, Inter-American Commission on Human Rights." Chris sarcastically adds.

"So, we have to pretend killing the others in order to win?" Dale asks.

"Duh, special ed." Darren says, annoyed. This earns him glares from everyone surrounding him.

* * *

 **CONFESSIONAL, NAMI**

Oh boy, that was wrong! Like, the wrongest wrong ever. If you ask me, that guy Darren's gonna get Zeke'd.

* * *

"Well, I'm loving all this tension. Truly helps ratings go higher." Chris says. "Anyway, let's keep it for the challenge. As we have three teams, two will be considered as winners this time only. Whatever team loses all of its members first will, you know the deal, face the first elimination of the season, and say goodbye to ONE at least. Capisci?"

The entire cast nods to the host, who's excited to get started.

"That said... let the games begin!"

"And may the odds be ever in our favor." Piper quietly pleads.

All three teams run to different directions, trying to hide as much as possible. While the Status-Seekers have no problem with Piper leading them, both the Wannabes and the Fame-Mongers face off creative differences between their members. Darren isn't sure Coraline's plan of attack is the best, while Pierre gets a little tired of Kim's silence.

"This is idiotic! I mean, if we stay here all day long, the challenge will never end!"

"Can you not? No one asked for your opinion." Coraline shortly replies. "I was deemed the leader, so if you don't agree with my decisions, go and insult someone else as you seem to enjoy."

* * *

 **CONFESSIONAL, CORALINE**

I'm the only one who's one-hundred percent able to carry this team on shoulders. I've performed in Japan, China, Russia; you don't do monkey business there. Here ain't any different, I hope.

* * *

 **CONFESSIONAL, DARREN**

You say one joke, one small joke only, and these sensitive morons get triggered! Can't wait to send them all off!

* * *

"Kim, what should we do now?"

Callie, Bianca and Arnold silently wait for their team leader to take charge. Unlike them, Pierre stands close to Kim, who's trying to think of how to surprise both opposing teams, despite feeling too much pression from her teammates.

"Don't rush me, please." Kim replies. "I'll come up with something."

"We need no somethings. We need ideas, girl." Pierre says.

"Then you suggest something!" she yells at him. The silence evolves from awkward to unbearable.

* * *

 **CONFESSIONAL, PIERRE**

Look who's yelling now.

* * *

"Annie, get your gun."

"For the third time, my name's Aoife."

"How do you even spell that? Just do as told." Darren says, with a knife on his hands. "We're going on a fool hunt."

"So, are we truly going against Coraline's word?" Megan asks, holding two guns. "She just went to check if..."

Before she could end the sentence, Coraline was back; her special shoes all covered in shiny green paint, and her face completely red out of anger. Her whole team collectively shrugged.

"Beat... them..."

"But, you said, Darren wasn't..."

"DON'T CARE. BEAT THEM."

* * *

 **CONFESSIONAL, SETH**

Dismissing ad hominem. We'll soon find out if Darren is worthy of the attention he begs for, in his search of meaning.

* * *

 **CONFESSIONAL, CORALINE**

He said those were props! PROPS! Not real, functional paintball guns!

* * *

Thirty minutes later, the number of contestants still standing was down to eight. Piper managed to find a secure place for her team to stay and hide, while she goes into action hunting their rivals. Only Darren survived from the Wannabes, same as Kim and Pierre from the Fame-Mongers.

* * *

 **CONFESSIONAL, PIPER**

I was afraid to join this show at first. Felt I wouldn't be in my element with the whole musical theme. But this? There's no possible way I don't kick ass in these kind of challenges!

* * *

"We need to find Piper before she finds us." Pierre says to Kim.

"Is that your thing now? Stating the obvious?"

"Look, I did nothing to you. No one did. So drop your passive-aggressive act already."

Kim simply lowers her head, making Pierre feel a little bad about his comment.

"Sorry."

"It's been hard, you know? Real hard. I'm trying to cope with everything, but I can't. It takes time."

Above and pretty close is Darren, hiding on the catwalks. He notices both of them, and then sees Piper not so far away, to which he throws a bucket of paint to make noise so she would go for them.

"So long, and good riddance." Darren murmurs.

His plan is successful. Pierre and Kim don't even realize three or four paintballs coming to them, and ultimately covering their clothes in different colors. Piper does a victory pose, and Chris soon joins them.

"The Status-Seekers and the Wannabes win!" Chris yells. "Fame-Mongers, you'll be heading to elimination."

Kim and Pierre exchange worried looks.

* * *

 **CONFESSIONAL, KIM**

Nothing good can come out of this.

* * *

The scene cuts to the main stage. Arnold, Pierre, Bianca, Kim and Callie take a sit on five chairs, aligned to form a circle around Chris McLean, who stands in the center with a silver plate on his left hand. There are four golden tickets, reminiscent of those from Roald Dahl's "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" novel.

"Welcome, my loser-est losers." Chris proudly announces. "It's always sad to see one of you leaving right in the first episode, only a few hours after arriving. Sad for the audiences at home, I mean. I couldn't care less about you."

"Too glam to give a damn, aren't we?" Arnold says.

"Sure." Chris effortlessly replies. "Anyway, whoever is staying tonight, will get one of these lucky golden Broadway tickets. I can bet, you'll never want something as much as you want these!"

"They're cute, but there are lots of things I'd rather..." Callie is saying, but the host interrupts her.

"SHUT UP. Okay. You all just voted, and the votes have been tallied."

* * *

 **CONFESSIONAL, ARNOLD**

Is "ugh" an emotion? 'Cause I feel that shit in my soul whenever I see her.

* * *

 **CONFESSIONAL, BIANCA**

Arnold... or Kim. Maybe Pierre. I'd rather vote Chris, though.

* * *

 **CONFESSIONAL, CALLIE**

I don't know who to vote for. It's like, we barely know each other!

* * *

 **CONFESSIONAL, KIM**

This is merely a strategic move, to keep myself safe. That ain't bad.

* * *

 **CONFESSIONAL, PIERRE**

She just didn't make that much of an impact, I guess?

* * *

"With zero votes against her... Kimberly! You're safe!"

Kim naturally smiles for the first time since the episode begun. She grabs her golden ticket and walks towards the _Safe Zone_ , a part of the stage designated for those who survived the elimination.

"Now, everyone else gathered at least ONE vote. The four of you are all in danger."

Arnold covers his face with both of his hands. Bianca is seemingly nervous, despite her cheerless appearance. Callie is sweating buckets. Pierre has his arms folded and exchanges glares with everyone else.

"I'll call you in random order. If you're mentioned, you're safe, and you get a ticket!"

"Callie!"

"Pierre!"

Bianca and Arnold stare at each other.

"Arnold, you didn't really do much besides repeating basic quotes. Bianca... you barely spoke."

"You sir, are the human version of period cramps." Arnold scolds to Chris.

Chris raises the final golden ticket, doing a dramatic pause as the bottom two wonder who's going home.

"Bianca... Arnold... weird goth versus party boy. The LAST ticket goes to..."

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

"...not so surprisingly, Arnold!"

Arnold joyfully grabs his golden ticket and joins Callie, Kim and Pierre at the _Safe Zone_. No one is really sad to see Bianca go besides Callie, whose heart apparently broke a little deep inside.

"Bianca, NO!"

"Bianca, YES!" Chris yells. "Any last words?"

"Actually, I do have some things to say. I had a fun time here and..."

Bianca is about to say more but she's suddenly cut by Chris, who pulls over a rope which opens a hole right below her feet, making her fall to an uncertain fate. Only her scream is heard soon after.

"What a great way to introduce the Fall of Shame!" Chris says. "A literal take on someone's career ending forever!"

"That's humilliating, but at least isn't a cannon, a catapult or that huge, disgusting toilet." Pierre adds.

"Well, we sure did have fun in this very first episode! And the season's just starting, along with the drama, conflicts and cheesy love affairs!" Chris announces, now ignoring the remaining Fame-Mongers and staring at the camera. "Bianca was the first out of fourteen contestants that will not earn a million dollars. Who will? Find out here, on..."

"TOTAL!"

"DRAMA!"

"THE MUSICAL!"

* * *

 **REMAINING CAST**

 _Bianca (The Creative Goth) - 15th Place_

 ** _THE FAME-MONGERS_**

 _Arnold (The Feminine Ball Buster)_

 _Callie (The Secretive Otaku)_

 _Kim (The Royal Skater)_

 _Pierre (The Skater Boy)_

 _ **THE WANNABES**_

 _Aoife (The Theater Kid)_

 _Coraline (The Perfectionist Ballerina)_

 _Darren (The Manipulative Jock)_

 _Megan (The Thot)_

 _Seth (The Tranquil Pacifist)_

 _ **THE STATUS-SEEKERS**_

 _Dale (The Autistic Outcast)_

 _Griff (The Overjoyful Actor)_

 _Matthew (The Class Clown)_

 _Nami (The Photographer)_

 _Piper (The Tomboy Mechanic)_

* * *

Thanks for reading this, guys! Please tell me what do you thought of it, either by PM or reviews!


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